R.O.M = marriage = you’re screwed

I still don’t understand how people can get confused with the whole registration of marriage (ROM) thingy with doing the traditional marriage. Or engagement, if you may. A lot of the younger people that i know kept thinking that ROM is just that – register, but you are still not married. Means you can hold hands and valentines day gifts together and still not considered married. I’m seriously dumbfounded.

To them, ROM is like engagement – if you like, then you stay on and get married the traditional way (tea ceremony and stuffs). If you don’t like, you can just let go. For them, ROM is nothing permanent. It’s just something that they do when they want to stay together, that’s what the younger ones (or should i call them younglings?) told me.

To them, you are married and screwed when you go thru the whole traditional marriage thingy. Without that, you are not yet married. Damn it. What they don’t know is, registration of marriage means you are legally married in the eye of law. And if you have kids then, legally, your kids will have the legitimate father and mother’s name in his/her birth certificate. It means that if you want to get separated, you’ll have to go thru the whole divorce thing.

And they further confused with engagement. The younglings thought that engagement equals ROM. Means something impermanent. What they don’t know is that those things are not the same at all. To them, ROM = engagement, and traditional marriage = real marriage (is there such a term?). I’m like, HELLO!!!!

Engagement =/= ROM

Traditional marriage is not technically and legally married in the eyes of law. You’ll only be recognised as married in your relative’s eyes.

Registration of marriage = married legally = you’re screwed

If this doesn’t clear it, I don’t know what will.

Posted in: General

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 at 12:00 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

8 Responses to “R.O.M = marriage = you’re screwed”

wong January 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 am

Hahaha… They must be feeling weird when signing the ROM? :P Aiyo, 21 century liaw, people want speed, can together, cannot leave lo… But hor… Where to get the ROM?

ashotiwoth January 23rd, 2008 at 10:12 am

wong – where to get the ROM, as in the form? you can get it at the Jabatan Pendaftaran, or if you chose to do it in some big Chinese associations, then you can get the form from them as well. usually less hassle that way, but you’ve got to pay more. You can even download the form directly from the Jabatan Pendaftaran website – http://www.jpn.gov.my .

snapshots January 23rd, 2008 at 3:12 pm

let me give you two view points that i know off

1) General Chinese View Point

They think, More important is the Traditional Marriage, That is where you are telling the Whole World, at least those that you have invited that these two persons are getting hitch. and they are staying together, Also please give ang pow etc. That is their view!

ie: the world, or rather the persons that know them or know their parents have been inform that they are married, at that point not during the registeration = “Face for the Parents”

2) Christian View Point

One of my Christian Friend (from Protestant Church) told me that their “Father” or rather Priest inform them, that they are living in sin even after the registeration, but with out a Church Marriage. Now how true is this I do not know my self, personally. again “Face for the Church”

Basically I believe this is the Peception (that Registeration is not Marriage), that Parents and Priests want to foster and encourage for their own gain

To Them – Traditional marriage is not technically and legally married in the eyes of law. You’ll only be recognised as married in your relative’s eyes. Which is more important to the Parents

I will also put it this way

Church marriage is not technically and legally married in the eyes of law. You’ll only be recognised as married in your Church. Which is more important to the church

ashotiwoth February 4th, 2008 at 11:13 pm

snapshots – in other words, those who do or insist on doing traditional/church marriage only do it to save their own face lah :)

snapshots February 5th, 2008 at 8:50 am

yes, that right, or the person that is insisting or footing the bill is for their own face or vanity

snapshots February 5th, 2008 at 8:54 am

say, are u base in the Northen Region of Malaysia?

ashotiwoth February 5th, 2008 at 3:46 pm

snapshots – yep, i’m currently residing in Penang… :) heaven of foodstuffs.. hehehe

snapshots February 5th, 2008 at 7:45 pm

if you read my blog, you will know i am also a penang boy, welcome to malaysia food haven,

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